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Well, yesterday started on a really “up” note. Melinda had said something last Friday that I wondered if she was upset with me. She caught me first thing Monday morning and told me she wanted to be sure I didn’t think her comments Friday were directed at me. I was honest and said I thought she was mad at me, and she assured me it wasn’t me, and that was that. And actually although I had been upset about it, it hadn’t hurt my feelings. No chest hurting or anything. Maybe I’m growing up.

Then I get home and Robbie and I are heading out to look for a car for him to deliver mail in. He tells me the Galax post office called him for an interview. I was SO EXCITED! I could sell this house and get the other one. But he told them he had already accepted the job at Hillsville. But he isn’t going to call. And that’s that. He was in a foul mood once we got back because he ordered a computer case and it is not what he hoped. He was screaming and yelling – not at me – but still my feelings did get hurt. Mostly because I thought I had a chance on the house then that got pulled out from under me, then the ‘fit’ he had about the computer.

That was yesterday. Today was a better day. Not so much a great day at work, but I got through it. Then off to take my 2014 taxes, last week’s pay stub and driver’s license to the loan office. On to Janice’s house. Still haven’t had the heavy chest – achy feeling in my chest – feelings hurt thing going. Wasn’t exactly a happy camper to start, then Janice and I went to our 2nd ebay class.

Now I’m excited. I have worried up one side and down the other over what might happen if Fox Creek closes and I have a mortgage. Serious thinking here – I’m too old to get another job as good as the one I have. Probably too old to get any job. But not too old to dream.

SO….

I’m back to this can happen. I can have my place on the mountain away from people where I can let the dogs out the door and just holler at them to come back in. No worrying about them barking at people and keeping the neighbors up. Or waking them up.

Roller coasters can be fun. When you are on the up anyway.

I was planning to sleep in a little while today – at least until 8. But I woke up at 6:30. Off to groceries, called Vickie to ask her to think how I might be able to get this house and still help Robbie…

Off to Mom’s – ate way, WAY too much.Gotta get back on track. Came home and push mowed the front yard – well, half of it anyway.

All I think about is getting this house. It is just too perfect for what I need. I don’t know if I would have made much different if I had built it myself. (Other than to build it on property that had a pasture and stream.) Front porch. Side deck. Back deck wired for a hot tub. Terraced gardens. Rock walkways. End of the road on Bullhead Mountain. Sunroom. Walk-out basement. Place to put a dog bath in the basement. Gas logs and gas heater in case of power outage. Heat pump. Gas cooktop. Privacy and seclusion in a beautiful home. One mile off the Parkway. Needs a little TLC – mostly just paint on the inside. It has new paint and roof on the outside. Deck and porch could use a little pressure washing and maybe some paint.

There’s a place on my face that is starting to worry me a little. Need to go to the doctor to have it checked out. Not far from the place they had to remove for the cancer on my lip. Could be just a zit, but doesn’t really look like one. Will call the dr after I hear from realtor and loan officer (tomorrow, maybe?)

Off to bed. Up early again in the morning.

Robbie was so … adult with me wanting this house. He was terribly upset because he really wants his job, but he was just kept saying it won’t work. Meaning his job that he hasn’t even started yet – doesn’t even know yet when he will start. But he didn’t bring it up at all until I asked him what was wrong.

I decided I don’t want that house – can’t afford it, I don’t want to live alone, there’s no yard, I won’t be able to do stuff like go to Wyoming, money will be tight for a long time… but while I was at work today the house is what I thought about all day. Well, when I had a minute. We were very busy on phones and in the store as usual on a pretty spring day.

I’ve come up with another plan that will work. If I get some co-operation from granny. Just a waiting game right now. Need to get to bed so I can go get groceries in the morning. Much better to go VERY early on Sunday morning. Not so crowded.

Oh, my. I’m in LOVE. Found the PERFECT house – like it was built for me. I’ve already made an offer on the house… trying to figure how this is going to happen. Robbie was really quiet – asked him what was wrong. We’ve been “in discussion” for the past 2 or 3 hours, and it was GREAT!

He was offered a post office job in Hillsville – starts in a week or so. He is certain he can’t make it here on his own with just the post office job, and he’s right. And he can’t live at my new house because they require you to live within 30 minutes of the office now. We are at 29 minutes according to google. So technically he couldn’t even live with granny.

We have worked through this – at least partially. I might not even stand a chance at this house. Won’t know until I talk to the bank. But at least I’m giving it a shot. And Robbie and I are working through this together. We can make this work.

Well, am I ready to spiral downward? Yesterday was awesome for me – I have been in SUCH a good mood all day today. Even the stupid crap at work didn’t bother me. At least not like it can bother me.

Robbie went to the Post Office and filled out his paperwork. He goes on his ‘shadow ride’ with the regular carrier either this Saturday or the next. The following week he goes for training. YES!

Got a call this morning about a property for sale. SO EXCITED!! Going to look at it tomorrow afternoon. Sounds like it is the perfect fit. (Just like how many others?) The price is a little beyond where I had been looking, but might be able to bring them down a couple steps. Anyway, I’m pretty sure I can do this. I sure HOPE I can!

If it fits. If… if… if. If not, I guess I move on to the next item. Next project. Either way, I’ve got work to do on this house – whether to rent it or sell it. Was thinking I would finance for Robbie – rent to own if he wants to stay here. Not like he won’t get the house in Sparta when I’m gone. He can sell it or rent it or move in it. Or he can just move with me and I’ll sell this or rent it to someone else. He’d be better off moving closer to Hillsville if he’s going to stay at that office. Between me and Granny, the guy should be pretty well set for houses. And real estate. As long as he can afford the taxes.

We’ve been talking about what he plans to drive. I suggested his ‘tank,’ then I thought he could try Granny’s car. But he doesn’t ‘fit’ in her car. I want him to take advantage of this to build his credit. . . but will that make ‘my house’ unattainable if I co-sign for a cheap car for him? I just paid for the phone books and that was a LARGE payment. Not in the poorhouse yet. 🙂

I do dislike being a yoyo. Even when I’m on the ‘up’, I know the ‘down’ isn’t far behind. I really had a great time today with friends I love like family. Today has been a definite up – laughing and eating and just being with good people. Fun to just enjoy life for a change.

All in all, it’s been a week full of friends and good times. I’d like to think I could have another week like it soon. Even though I was really disappointed that the house Vickie and I looked at really wasn’t what I was hoping for, I can’t just curl up in a corner and give up.

Bob and Janice are leaving for Wyoming just as Mom and I get back from vacation. Janice asked me if I wanted to go… I can’t – but I would LOVE to. They are so much FUN. I know I can’t. I will ask tomorrow if it is possible, but I really don’t think so. But we’re talking about riding to Maggie Valley again this summer. We can do that in just a 3 or 4 day weekend.

Stopped to see Shirley on the way home and she was trying to be… difficult. “Must be nice to have friends to go places with” then she started in on she wanted to go somewhere today but none of her friends was available. I know she’s jealous, but I don’t know what to do for her. Or if it is even my job to ‘do for her.’ Then she started in on how she would rather die than be in the nursing home. I asked why she thought she was going to the nursing home and she said if she couldn’t walk she would have to. I don’t want to be pulled into her little power play, and so far today it hasn’t happened. I’ve still had a really good day. But I will be seeing her tomorrow. and I will be listening to her complain that she doesn’t go anywhere. Doesn’t see anyone. Doesn’t do anything. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be her ‘best friend’. She’s too depressing.

Today was a pretty good day. Glucose right where I like it – 82. Weight headed down… Yup. A good day.

Started working on taxes this morning. That time of year. Again. Then I got some kind of wild hair. I’ve been making homemade bread with a bread machine for 3 or 4 years, and we’ve been enjoying that. But this morning I decided to break out the countertop proofer I got myself for Christmas. Bought it, then set it on the counter and was more than a little intimidated by it. I KNOW yeast breads can be difficult, and I was afraid I was stepping a little out of my league.

But I LIKE baking. So, I decided to jump in and see what happened. There’s gotta be a first time for everything…

I did pretty good with it. Took longer than I expected, but today is Saturday. Other than taxes, I didn’t have anything else to do. Granny gave me some blueberries earlier this week and I had promised Robbie I would make him muffins this morning. Cool. Bread and muffins. Yeah!

I always ALWAYS lick bowls and utensils when I’m baking. No, no, no – after I’m done with them – before they hit the sink. Why waste that little touch of heaven? Mmm-mm-mm! But although I thought about it awful hard, I just put the dirties in the kitchen sink. SCORE!! I BAKED without tasting. YES!

While the bread was rising, I started the muffins thinking to use the stove for both at the same time. Of course, it didn’t work out that way. But that’s okay. Muffins were done in time for Robbie to try them before baking the bread.

And? What was his verdict? “They’re alright.” Alright? ALRIGHT!? You gotta be kidding me! So I asked again. “They’re okay.” My response? “So, I’m going to have to taste them myself to know?” His reply “They’re okay.”

I was crushed. “Okay” isn’t what I wanted to hear. So… I BROKE my sugar fast! I had to taste one just to see if it was good or just “okay.”

To be fair, I took about 1/4 of one and tasted it. Light. Airy. Not too sweet. CONSIDERABLY better than “okay.” I am downright pleased with my kitchen endeavors today.

Even though I had a little bite of sugar today, my calories are under 800 and carbs only 56 for the day. And I got out and exercised – walked the mile and around the back with the dogs.

Ack!! I was going to take a picture of the first ever loaf… and ran it to Granny’s completely forgetting the picture. Oh, well. It was pretty dang good! Made with honey instead of sugar (yes, I’m picking nits), but I still only ate half a slice and Granny ate the other half. She’s going to freeze half of it so she can have it for later.

And my weight is down, too! I’ve lost 6 pounds in the last 7 days – 10 in 3 weeks. At least the carb watching effort is showing results. I squeezed into an old pair of jeans this morning that haven’t seen daylight since Christmas.

Not too bad. Stressed to the hilt today because of work, but I still walked at lunch (stress relief) and walked again when I got home. Can’t seem to stop the overkill at supper, but I have less than 70 carbs and 700 calories even AFTER doubling the sweet potato fries.

Then things get even MORE hectic! It was 3pm before I had time for lunch today! Good thing, though – it was 8:30 before I had time for supper. Supper after 6 usually isn’t a good idea, and I could probably have skipped it, but even including supper, my calories were still under 800 (carbs were 80 – not as good as before, but okay).

Beautiful end to a snowy weekend

Guess what. Go ahead – guess. Still No Sugar. No artificial sweetener. Today is day 7. I’ll weigh in the morning and see what I’ve accomplished … if anything.

And I cheated today. Not on calories or even exercise. Total 770 calories – walked 3 miles plus up and down steps all day long. But I was craving SOMETHING, so I ate a small apple. Then right after work I went straight to the grocery store. BAD IDEA! And supper I had as many carbs as I’ve had all day the rest of the week. But still NO SUGAR and NO SUGAR SUBSTITUTE.